I feel like I just went down a slippery slope because now I

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canada goose outlet Dear Carolyn: My Canada Goose Jackets girlfriend is jealous of one of my co workers. This co worker is sweet (she’s married) and we share the same interest in food so we’re constantly eating together lunches, snacks and occasionally happy hour or dinner. My relationship is long distance and when I bring up any plans I may have with my co worker, my girlfriend doesn’t hold back the snide remarks. canada goose outlet

canada goose outlet canada I’ve told her it’s not that deep, but she’ll pick it back up again the next time it comes up. canada goose outlet canada

canada goose jacket outlet Recently my co worker and I went to happy hour after work and I lied and told my girlfriend I was going out with someone else, just to avoid any tension. I feel like I just went down a slippery slope because now I make something up if I’m ever hanging out with my co worker. canada goose jacket outlet

I love my girlfriend very much, she is my future and I have no intention of leaving this relationship over such a small thing, but I can’t help feeling I did the wrong thing. Part of me wants to confess! I’m also considering just keeping things professional with my co worker but I don’t think canada goose clearance sale that’s fair.. I don’t know.

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canada goose outlet nyc Slippery Slope: The good news is, you and canada goose uk black friday your girlfriend seem very Canada Goose online well matched. The bad news is, your canada goose well matchedness is in the area of emotional cowardice and there’s nothing even remotely “small” about this “thing.” canada canada goose store goose outlet nyc

canada goose outlet in usa To bring us fully into the schoolyard, I will say: Your girlfriend started it. Expressing doubt through snide remarks is just a bad look on any adult. canada goose cheap canada goose uk outlet in usa

Here’s her flow chart for adult behavior in the face of romantic rivalry: Does she believe you’re being unfaithful to her? Yes/No.

canada goose outlet shop If no, then she recognizes it’s her feelings and behavior that canadian goose jacket need to change, not yours, and does the internal work accordingly. Then she canada goose factory sale either (a) makes peace with the status quo: “I’m actually happy you have a good friend and don’t seriously believe you’re cheating on me. I’m just frustrated she sees you more than I do and in weak moments I lash out, I’m sorry”; or (b) recognizes that dating long distance isn’t healthy for her and breaks up with you. canada goose Canada Goose sale outlet shop

canada goose outlet black friday If yes, then she states her infidelity concerns canada goose coats on sale explicitly: “I see this as an emotional affair, if not an actual one. I feel uncomfortable with/angry about/threatened by how close you two are, because the attention you pay to her is noticeably buy canada goose jacket warmer than your attention to me.” (I’m freestyling here, but you get the idea.) Then she weighs your response carefully, and either (a) accepts your response as adequate and drops the snark; or (b) decides your response isn’t adequate and breaks up with you. canada Canada Goose Online goose outlet black friday

canada goose outlet sale Instead, she has chosen the path of least emotional risk: She won’t openly admit how vulnerable she feels, lashing out instead, but also won’t break up with you. canada goose outlet sale

Your response to this, meanwhile, has been to see your girlfriend’s cowardice and raise her some mendacity. Even when the behavior you’re covering up is innocent, the coverup canada goose cheap canada goose jackets coats itself is not.

canada goose outlet new york city So here’s your adult behavior flow chart: Is this co worker friendship innocent? canada goose outlet new york city

canada goose outlet jackets If no, canada goose clearance then admit that to yourself and stop being disingenuous with these two women. canada goose outlet jackets

If yes, then: Is this friendship important enough to you, at face value or on principle, to keep even when you know it bothers your girlfriend? Yes/No.

official canada goose outlet If no, then you stop seeing this friend outside work and, for your own peace of mind, own it as your choice to do so. Don’t pass it off as something your jealous girlfriend “made you” do. official canada goose outlet

canada goose outlet online uk If yes, then state clearly to your Canada Goose Parka girlfriend once more, transparently and in full, that this colleague is a platonic https://www.canadagoosepark.com friend whose company you feel entitled to enjoy as you would any male friend. Then see how your girlfriend responds to this implied choice, to either trust you and accept the situation or not trust you and break up with you. canada goose outlet online uk

canada goose factory outlet If she tries again to have it both ways, to distrust you but not break up with you, then you break up with her. canada goose factory outlet

canada goose outlet store The emotional math here when you’re not the one up to your neck in the numbers, at least is actually pretty simple. canada goose outlet store

canada goose outlet uk sale But cheap Canada Goose there’s a reason that it’s about courage. It is hard to stand openly for who you are and what you believe when you know it might cost you Canada Goose Coats On Sale someone you love. Her snark and your lies aren’t right or healthy or fair, but they are human. It’s the rare person who hasn’t defaulted to one or both in attempts to minimize their emotional exposure, and therefore risk. canada goose outlet uk sale

canada goose outlet reviews It’s just that taking these self protective shortcuts merely postpones the reckoning you both so buy canada goose jacket cheap fervently hope to avoid and in doing so likely raises the stakes for when it uk canada goose finally all comes out, ever closer to this expected “future.” Which won’t go well, at all, if avoidance is Plan A for you both canada goose outlet reviews.

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